Wednesday, January 7


it can help you decide as to whether or not you'll believe in signs. :)

this is about THE ex.. he did unforgivable things both of cruel nature and evil nature. difference? cruel, it hurted me. evil, it shamed me.

it was pride(i don't have this.. until the guy)that made me stick to my decision of severing ties. it's my first time to do it. i believe in saving what was left of friendship after breakups, for it is through this that i could move on easier. being friends with an ex makes it easier for me to accept the fact that friendship is what we're meant to have. i can love the guy from a distance, then later on, as time goes by, the love would change into a different form. i mean, ame emotion, but different form and intensity :)

now back to my story, i told myself that severing ties is something that i cannot do. but given the things said and done, not just by him but also people around him, keeping in contact with him would be like continuously opening a wound.

i asked for a sign if we're meant to be friends or not. whatever it is, i'll accept. my sign has a condition: it has to be definite. if mom and dad allowed me on the trip to france that i've been pining for, it means we're through. i'd ask for one last meeting and then i'll leave without looking back.

no deadlines. as long as i'm allowed to go, then that's it.

i told myself that severing ties doesn't mean i haven't forgiven him. i just had to give myself some self-respect, for i do not deserve what he is doing.

in an hour i got a call from my mom and dad, who back then were in baguio.

'you can go to france, but you have to be back in time for the family reunion..'

the next day, i met up with him.


someone who's mind i want to understand told me to read what he wrote. the thing is, i don't want to, because i'm afraid of getting hurt with whatever is written in the entries and i'm hesitant to find out that what i was fearing is true all along.

i asked for a sign. nothing definite this time, but a sign all the same.

the next day, i received a gift from my joyop boys. and i was so overwhelmed. i received that one creature that is repeatedly mentioned in the heading of what he wants me to read.

that night, i read the notes.


signs have a way of guiding us, but like what fate and destiny are to most, they are there to guide us, not to determine what's right or wrong and what we must and must not do, but to clear the hazy dilemmas that we have no idea how to get out of.

to some, it's a matter of blind belief, to some, just coincidence. but whatever it means, one thing is for sure. signs, destiny and fate are cosmic miracles that inspires us or helps us. those unworldly forces that some think are for fools.

it's your take. the meaning is for you to decide.

my thoughts =)

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