Thursday, November 29

The Site


We met at a time when almost everything in my life is in chaos, and order is an alien word. I was almost in for a breakdown, and as a habit, I turned to the ever famous Pinoy Exchange as an outlet.

I have found friends in this site. Friends who have been with me through trying times, who made me a better person, who taught me loads of lessons. Some would think we, PExers are pretenders.

You'll be in for a big shock.

The Conflict

Harmless conversations? Yeah, right.

Before I knew it, I was starting to crave for his thoughts. His opinions kept me on my feet, his judgment my everyday guide. I believed myself to be wise, but I found my guru. When I realized what i was getting myself into, I have decided to keep my distance from some time and think. I have to pull myself together because I was starting to depend on him. For what I was still unsure, but I know that I was beginning to look at him from a different set of eyes.

The hard part of this is: I'm just another one of his fans.

Tuesday, November 27

The Soul Within

We sent messages to each other for quite some time before he added me up in an instant messenger. From then on, every time we are both logged in, we chat. We talk about almost anything and everything under the sun, making me look forward to the days when we would talk. Chat, rather. I was opening up to someone I haven't seen before, but since this is just harmless conversation, I gladly participated.

I found a treasure.

From what information I could gather, he is close to two decades older than me, but I find him wise not because of his advanced years, but because he can express himself freely. Experience combined with wisdom, that's what he is to me, and I was beginning to get used to having him around.

The thing is, I don't know anything at all about him.

The Writer

I was the first to strike up a conversation, for I was an immediate fan of his work. There is a certain gentle caress to my then cold heart that made me curious of the guy behind the story. If I were to imagine him based on my impression of the writer, I see a man in the shadows: half hiding, but wants to go out into the light, waiting to see if the world could hug him into its bosom.

You might be wondering how I imagined all of this by just reading his work.

I myself am a writer. I know what it feels like to open yourself to pen and paper, or in this case, the computer, with the intent of letting it out. But as you progress on whatever it is that you are writing about, a feeling of thirst for recognition and appreciation develops, breathing life into what used to be a group of words echoing a thought.

The weirdest of all?

It is as if, unconsciously, he wants to meet someone like me.

The Prologue

Just like in the song 'I Miss You' by Incubus, the lines 'you do something to me.. that I can't explain.. so would I be out of line.. if I said, I miss you..' holds true.

It began months ago, when I have no idea that talking to a fellow writer, albeit a closet one, would lead to another rollercoaster ride of emotions. Read that? Plural. With an 'S'.

I was just being typically me, sensitive enough to feel his hunger to talk to someone who would read between the lines of what he is typing, and listen to the soul who wants to speak to somebody who would understand even without words.

What happened was unexpected, but it was beautiful, to an extent. Not everything that is wonderful lasts, as the saying goes.

This is a story of a guardian angel.