Monday, December 10

The Melancholic State

I guess things happen when you least expect it. I was just looking for somebody who I could talk to and who won't turn his back when I unveil the real me. But I ended into something that does not have a remedy. Yes, my current state is almost the same as when one is sick.

For the nth time, I am in love.

I guess what Mommy Aura said holds true up to now: That I have too much love to give and there are a lot of people who needs more lovin', so I guess that's why I met them in the first place.

That's why I met him.

And that's why I fell for him.

I told myself that I should tell him. He is the type who wants hearing things for assurance, who craves for sweet things and stuff even if he doesn't admit it, one who don't care what the world says or thinks as long as he is secure.

But then I realized, I think he already knows what I feel. I have admired his brain above everything, it would be stupid to think he doesn't know. Still, that same brain prefers to think he is ugly, unworthy and untalented, so I am again brought in the middle of a dilemma I have long seized to go into, but now, have no choice.

Should I or should I not tell him?

Sunday, December 2

The Introspection

I would have preferred Sagada, but since the closest option I could go to is Tagaytay. I spent a week there over at a friend's house.

I bought my 3 'best friends': my Sony VAIO laptop, my iPod and its speakers, and my three cellphones.

The laptop, to let out some, if not all of my thoughts and feelings
The iPod, to get me in the mood to write
My cellphones, to keep up with the rest of the world..

Or maybe, just maybe, he just might try to contact me. Even if the reason behind my being there is to get away from him for a while, I still want to hear from him. For crying out loud, I miss him.

He didn't disappoint me: 'I miss my honey' was the text message that I received twice that day and 7 times more that week.